Day 30

Another 30 days have passed. It means this 30 days’ journal also comes to its end. 
When the first time my friend told me about this challenge, I didn’t think too much. As I did 30 days’ writing challenge last January, I thought this challenge could also help me to improve my writing and drawing skills. 
Actually, I don’t know whether I’m getting better or not but I just keep doing on what I like. 
The hardest thing for this challenge is getting the idea for the story. I got a lot of things on my mind these past months and sometimes I’m having a hard time to create a story. So, off and on, I just used my personal or my close acquaintances’ experiences as a story. Like The Election Day’s journal is my personal opinion. Take a guess for the rest. 
And I tend to make my story as general as possible. So (if you ever read it) you can place yourself or anyone you like to be the main character. I’d rather use “I” and “you” than using ‘he’ or ‘she’ so anyone who reads it can freely imagine the character itself. Is it a story about the opposite sex or same-sex lovers or haters or friendships or friend zones? You decide. Take it whatever you want. 
So, thank you for anyone who keeps on reading from day 1 to day 30. Sorry if my English wasn’t perfect, but well, I’ll keep writing in English anyway haha! *slapped
See you on another challenge!

#30DJ2Day30 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Shadow

It’s been 11 years since the first time I saw you.
Me, a 17 years old student who always feels sad all the time, saw you, singing, screaming, and head-banging with all of your heart to your own written poems on a rainy autumn night.
My silly younger self falls in love with those poems of heartbreak, despair, and loss because to be honest, you’re not my kind of type. But, I’m falling deeper after I knew every little trivial matter we shared. 
Our same birth-month, same blood-type, same zodiacs, favorite McDonalds’s menu, favorite desserts, favorite movie-genres…
It’s funny because we tend to see similarities with our favorite person just to feel close to them.
So do I.
Your hate is so addicting that I start to feel calm when I see you expressing your feelings.
You shout, you cry, you bleed in front of sparkling eyes of hopes from people who adore you.
You give me the cruelest gift you could ever give to someone and here I am giving you a bit by bit of my shadow so you know I’m always there.
Ever wondered about a face you always see inside your dreams? The one who always messing your head even after you woke up?
11 years later, nothing’s changed. Though you broke my heart, you’re still my favorite person whom I adore wholeheartedly. 
I’d go with you, anywhere, anytime if you asked me to.
But ironically, we are just as close as strangers in the dreams.

#30DJ2Day29 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

A Song

This song reminds me of you.
I raised my left eyebrow. Suddenly? What song?
This. You hand me one of your earphones so I can listen to it.
Hm… Isn’t it a bit gloomy?
You think so?
It’s not? So what makes this song reminds you about me?
I don’t know, you shrugged off.
We listen to the song until the end. You take your earphone back.
I’m going to listen to it again.
For what?
I like this song. 
Here we go. Once you feel like attached to a song, you would listen to it until you could ‘understand’ it. People might think you’re mad while looking outside the window, but it’s just you thinking in your serious mode. 
And here, I’m just watching you lost into your world.
Sometimes I feel jealous. I want to go to that world too. So I could ‘understand’ you better.
What did you see?
What did you hear?
So is this how it feels to be left alone?
Ah, I feel stupid now.
Hello, knock, knock! Are you there?
Oh, you’re back?
Yes, and I guess now I know.
What?
Why this song reminds me of you. 
You nod and smile. 
And the rain starts falling outside.

#30DJ2Day28 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Afterimage

I always know they are real.
If you listen closely, you can hear them. Whispering with the coldest voice that makes you shiver.
Sometimes they just want to be listened, but some again a bit… sinister.
At first, they wanted to be your friend, but don’t fall on their trick. They want more. 
They want your soul… and also your beloved one.
They will never let you go once they’ve got you. No escape. They will come to you, trying to drag you down with them. To the deepest pit of the rotten red sea.
Block your ears, close your eyes.
Think about anything, quick!
Don’t let them know you can hear them. 
Oh, no… no…
That one will come… It’s coming… Closer… I can hear them… It’s too late, too late…
No…
Help me!
Please, somebody!
HELP ME!
The door slammed open with a loud bang. Two men in white attire grab me from both sides as I try to escape.
No, please, you don’t understand! Please, let me out of here! It’s coming! It wants to k-kill me! No, please save me!
I’m trying to explain when they tied me up. Another man in white come closer I don’t know what they do to me as my focus is locked on their back. 
That thing is standing behind them.
Wa…tch…. O… 
I try to tell them to be careful of that thing, but I can’t. I feel so sleepy.
As my consciousness fading, that blurry afterimage of black people smiling wickedly was the last thing I see before I swallowed by the darkness itself.

#30DJ2Day27 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Cat's Eyes

It’s a bright afternoon today.
Nice weather with a gentle breeze.
A good day to stroll around.
But it’s already at 5 o’clock. 
I stand by 15 minutes ago in this place.
I’m counting while scratching my back.
1… 2… 3… 4…
The door creaked open.
Oh, there you are!
I’m watching you closing your window from the outside. That wooden window which always makes a loud screeching noise when closed.
And after that, with wary eyes, you watch over your surroundings before go back inside.
I understand. There’s always a demon lurking from every dark corner. I agree, we have to stay alert anytime. Because I did that too.
Sometimes you would see me, stop for a while to exchange a stare or waving your hand while smiling before going back inside.
Or sometimes it’s me that takes too long strolling around the neighborhood so I missed the chance to see you.
What kind of person are you?
What kind of life do you live?
Sometimes I wonder.
See? You wave your hand at me. I stare back at you.
Hm? You tiptoeing right to where I sit. You don’t have to, actually, because I won’t go anywhere.
I can see you clearly now. 
You still smile and closing your eyes as slowly as possible.
It doesn’t take too long for me to do the same.
You wave your hand, still smiling and head back inside.
Human is sure fascinating to be observed.
See you tomorrow, human!

#30DJ2Day26 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

And, I Want...

It’s a warm spring night.
I walk on the empty street shone by the lonely street lights.
The spring breeze strokes my hair gently.
Can we meet at the park?
I smile as typing the reply.
Yes.
You’ve waited while drinking a cold coke.
Sorry for making you wait.
You shook your head. 
So, what’s new?
Not much.
Then why did you ask me out today? I just get ready to sleep.
You? Sleep? At this hour? Are you kidding me?
Oh, shut up, I’m just trying to live a good life.
What is good when you only stay awake longer from watching Youtube?
So you called me only to nag me? What are you, my mom?
You laugh and throw the cola can to the trash bin.
Let’s go, I want to show you something.
You take me to your workshop roof.
Today is Eta Aquariids Meteor Shower. It might be too early, and we should wait a bit longer until almost dawn, but…
I’m laughing when I see his face.
Why were you laughing, you asked.
No, nothing. It’ just… funny.
What’s funny?
You. I laugh again seeing your confused face.
Anyway, we still had a lot time…
We smile at each other in the dark night of late April.
I’m bored. Let’s end someone’s life tonight…

#30DJ2Day25 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Hide

I’m not the kind of person that easily surprised with anything anymore. My life’s lost its sparks a long time ago. But this news I heard straight from your mouth shook me up to the core.
I want to confess, you said.
You came to my house at 1 AM. I know you know my sleep schedule so well and I also used to call you around that time.
Come in, I said. Your face looks paler than ever. Have you eaten? You look so pale. Are you okay? I’m getting worried.
You sit on my sofa, still silent. I go to the kitchen to make you some hot tea.
Here, maybe it could help, I give you the cup and sitting beside you.
I heard you said thanks in a very small voice.
There’s a bit cold silence. I never feel like this when I have been around you since the day one I know you but today.
I killed her.
Kill what?
I killed her… I threw her body into the sea… Three days ago…
Wait… Wait… You what?
You just look at me with that weary expression. No words. You know I heard it well and just don’t know how to react.
You… killed her…?
You nod.
Why?
You sip the tea before answering. It’s over between us. I couldn’t help her anymore, and I thought this was the best way for us to… end this. I don’t want to be egoist to said that I’m tired, both of us tired but… She hides it from me. No, she didn’t hide it, she’d lie to me… I’m sorry I never really talk about this with you. You know, I just didn’t want to make you worry…
But what if anyone suspicious?
No, nobody will. She isolated herself since consuming those drugs and nobody ever cared for her…
And… what do you want me to do now?
You sigh. Nothing. I just want to confess.
Are you wanted to turn yourself to the police?
No. And I hope you won’t report me. Just play dumb if someone ever asks though I doubt it…
I understand. I’ll keep this to the grave.
You finally smile. I know I can count on you. Please don’t tell anyone includes The Twins. I’ll tell them when I feel I need to and I’ll tell you soon if I told them so you won’t feel burdened too long. So far, only you and Val that knew this. I’m sorry but I trust you.
How many secrets have we shared and how many secrets we’ve kept to ourselves?
Don’t worry. Stay here tonight, I’ll accompany you until you feel better.
Thanks.
I don’t know if I did the right thing or not but I just want you to know I will always on your back.

#30DJ2Day24 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Confession

Am I going to say it or not?
I sighed as I’m scrolling on my Twitter feeds.
Trying to find some distractions from the voice inside my head.
People still complaining and only care about themselves.
I let out another sigh.
Sipping my cold caramel macchiato to get away with the heat.
Though the air conditioner blasting the cold breeze inside this café.
Well, I’ve kept it for a long time now, so I guess it’s okay?
I don’t know.
Then there you finally come, walking through the door with that innocent face.
You take your ice Americano and talk about your current projects.
I’m listening. Yeah, but I developed some skills to think separately whether should I or shouldn’t I. Calculating every options and possibility while giving the response you need to hear.
And when you stopped talking, I guess it’s finally my turn to test on today’s luck if I ever have it.
Telling someone about your feelings is never be easy. At least for me. Nobody ever properly teaches me how to do it.
I look at you, trying to figure what’s on your mind after hearing such… surprising confession? I’m not sure you’d be surprised actually, and yeah, look at that smug face.
And I can’t really hear what you say afterward. But I’m sure you really mean everything you’ve said.
I don’t know if we make a good decision or not but I know we have this tendency to make things turn so bad.

#30DJ2Day23 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Lullaby

Sleep, sleep my sweet baby.
Sway, sway, sway away from those tears of yesterday.
Let it fly with the night wind.
Far, far away to the dark north sky full of cold stars and a blue moon.
Close your eyes and listen to these old melodies.
Swing, swing little baby.
Let’s wear a beautiful dress tomorrow and go outside.
Eating strawberry ice cream and sweet apple candy.
Running in the field while the wind gently brushes your silky hair.
The bright azure sky and the golden daffodils.
Laugh your heart out.
Dancing and laughing until the sun sets.
And when you tired, let mommy hug you back to your bed.
Hush, hush mosquitos won’t bite you.
Sleep, sleep little darling.
Don’t worry, mom is here.
Let’s be together forever…

Oh, you’re laughing.
No, you should be sleeping, little baby.
Sleep, sleep so mommy won’t be worried.
Close your eyes, it’s time to sleep.
You will have a lot of time tomorrow to laugh again.
Good, little baby.
See you again tomorrow’s night.

I want to go to check my baby but I’m too afraid.
That familiar old song that used to be my favorite lullaby as a baby.
Sung by my late mother for her grandchild.
I guess the baby is sleeping now.

#30DJ2Day22 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Overthink

I feel like I can’t focus on anything today.
I try to do my work as usual. I finish it on time with only a minor revision. But I still feel there’s something off today.
I check everything. My next work, my schedule plan today, my to-do lists, my desk, drawer, surroundings, but I can’t find any anomaly. 
My friend jokingly said I might be wearing unmatching socks, but that’s not it. And no, I wear a matching one today. 
I eat my usual menu for breakfast and lunch. A bowl of chocolate oatmeal with hot tea and lunch menu set provided by a family restaurant near my office. I didn’t drink coffee instead of chamomile tea for a month, but that’s not about it. 
I’m scratching my head, wondering what is wrong today.
As I glance at my phone, I realize something.
Um, could it be...
My head might be bleeding from this continuous scratch but I don’t know how to react. 
Uh… It’s not that I didn’t notice, but…
Should I?
Nah, you could be laughing at me if I ask.
Or simply brush it off with that common lies.
Overthinking never helps, but here I am, staring at my phone with my mind full of unnecessary thoughts.
After that continuous typing-erasing thing, I give up.
Maybe not today.

#30DJ2Day12 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Tsundere

I’m not ready yet.
Please, please, I need to go to the bathroom.
I’m drenched in cold sweat.
I bite my lips so nobody could see them trembling.
Oh no, no. I’m barely breathing.
To the point I might need CPR.
Anybody, please help!
Does this room always this full?
It seems like the oxygen in this room getting lower and lower, makes me difficult to breathe.
My pulse is getting higher.
I can feel my face turning red as my cheeks feel hot. 
Great, fever attack!
I want to cry. I really want to go home.
Calm down, calm down.
Take a deep breath. 
Inhale, exhale.
Hey, over here!
Yes, it’s you.
Oh, hey, I said. Trying so hard to control myself.
I thought you wouldn’t come, you said with that cute smile.
Well, at first I thought I’d better at home, but well, I guess… not too bad to hang out, sometimes… and the Wi-Fi signal was bad, umm…  so I couldn’t reply your text…
I feel like I want to punch myself right in the face, super extra hard.
But you’re just giggling, saying it’s okay and talking like there’s nothing wrong.
I hope you don’t get me wrong.
I’m confined by this loneliness, so it’s kind of attempt to defend myself.
But it seems like you can see through me.
So which one is the real me?
Please tell me if you already know.
Whether I’m deeply in love with you or not.
I will jump out of this skin if I am.

#30DJ2Day20 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Quarrel

I love you.
That’s what you said years ago.
But everything goes wrong. So wrong.
After all this time, I gradually realized.
You never really listen to me.
Feeding your ego brain but you never satisfied. 
You will never be satisfied.
I’m fed up, enough. 
Stop it, Darling.
I do this for you, I did that for you, why you always like this? Why’d you never listen to me? 
That’s what you said to me.
Um, sorry, so you try to blame me and playing the victim here?
Well, yeah, yeah, thank you for loving me so much with your ego.
But, no, no, thanks, it’s enough.
You did everything for me? Really? Not for your ego so you can be boasting some nonsense out there about our rotting relationship?
Why can’t you see that I also want to be listened too? 
You think you are the only one who was tired?
You should really make me happy, not just pretending to make me happy.
Complaining about everything without even noticing how I feel.
Now it’s my turn to talk.
Wait, you haven’t listened to what I said!
I’m gonna spill everything and I don’t care if we’re gonna fight.
You are the rotten root which broke our relationship, yet you never realized.
And now it’s too late and I don’t wanna waste another time to spend with you anymore.
Shut up, Honey.
It’s better for you to leave now, go far away as far as you could.
I’m so sick of you.
I hate you.

#30DJ2Day19 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Saudade

The bar is full today.
Most of them dancing along with the blasting jazzy sounds while the other sit on the sofa, either talking or flirting. 
I sit at the bar alone. My fifth glass already half empty. I need to stay sober yet I want to drink until I could forget everything though it’s not a good idea. 
It’s never been a good idea.
I wake up just to feel emptier day by day. Those mornings where I spent most of it in my bathroom threw up everything I ate the night before and barely conscious. And also that time when I saw you walking down the street with your favorite black attire from my rear mirror right before I parked my car to spend another depressing night drowning in alcohol. 
I still wake up in the morning, spending my day like every other day. Where the sun still shining and the moon still hanging lonely at night. 
And I swear I could still hear your voice. Waking me up as usual with the scent of your favorite black coffee spreading throughout the apartment.
And then I laughed until I could feel tears streaming down on my cheeks after seeing pity-self reflected in the bathroom mirror.
How did we get here?
I sit on my couch, buried my face in my hand. Finally trying to grasp on reality I’ve been avoiding all these years. 
You haven’t been here for years.

#30DJ2Day17 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Election Day

Today is General Election Day in here.
My parents woke me up in the morning, so we could vote early. I’m not a morning person, but I had to.
I never talk about politics. I don’t hate it, but sometimes a bit annoyed when people talk trash about one or other parties. Why’d you had to focus on the bad side instead of the good side? That’s why I prefer to be an observer, so I could see in another point of view. There’s no friend or enemy in politics, so it’s best to open your eyes wide and have your guard on. It’s all started in 2014 when there’s a lot of commotion caused by politics. My Facebook feeds, which once full of funny yet sometimes drama posts of weaboos, flooded by politics posts. It’s not that I don’t care about politics in my country, but I hate it if it was talked by someone who was blinded by a certain thing. And for the worst, sometimes WhatsApp Group also talked about politics.
But I’ll never unfriend them. Because like I said before, I have to know every side of it in order to see in a different point of view. Besides, Facebook has this hide post feature, and I simply hide those hateful posts. I try not to unfollow or block someone unless they’re extremely bothered me to the point I assume it’s better to ignore their whole existence at all. Mostly on personal level.
I tend not to tell anyone about my choice. I do have my choice, and I prefer to keep it for myself. 
And whoever wins, I hope he could support my country to be better than before.
Ah, one good thing about election day is those culinary promos and discounts! Yeay!
But sadly, since I’m not in the good condition, I might be missing those promos *sobs

 #30DJ2Day17 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Bedrest

I wrote this on my bed at 1 PM.
I’m a bit under the weather today. It’s been so long since the last time I caught a cold.
Stuffy yet runny nose, light headache and fever, sore throat and muscles, and that one thing I hate the most is the tasteless tongue.
I’m constantly hungry. I mean like almost always hungry. Even though sometimes I could forget to eat because too immersed in my work, I am always hungry. And it pissed me off when I try to eat, I can’t taste anything. Also, that headache when you snort to hard, followed by itchy-teary eyes.
So, after I had woken up this morning, I spent most of my time in my bed. Surfing on Youtube and stumbled upon a video of an animated horror story.
Being a fan of the horror genre, I clicked and end up spending most of my morning watching similar videos and I had no regret.
Though I’m mostly working at home, I don’t like working on my bed unless when I feel really sick. And now, it’s raining outside and here I am, in my dark room, bundled in the blanket on my bed with my laptop, phone and animated horror videos to watch. A cup of hot chocolate or hot honey water with some snacks might be perfect.
At least I could enjoy my sweet rest for a while though I have to get sick to gain it.

please pardon my drawing since I drew it on bed 

#30DJ2Day16 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Don't Flirt

You did it again yesterday.
You said you only go to your friend’s house, but why can’t I call you?
No text, no phone call. I haven’t heard anything from you all day yesterday. 
You said don’t worry, but how can I not worried?
Your reputation is the talk of the town. Everybody knows your name and always followed by a little dirty story.
I live in a nervous state every day because of fear of losing you. People might be dissing me for being a fool for fallen for you, but how can I refuse your flirtatious smile?
It’s misunderstanding, you said, do you really believe in them? You asked.
I don’t want to believe those cheap rumours but please prove that you are the right one because of your action and your words are hilariously unmatched.
I’m going to bed you said, but my friend sent me your photo at the bar that night.
Stop joking around playing with other peoples heart. If you don’t have feelings for others, it doesn’t mean others don’t have it too. 
I just want you to be a better person. I just want to be yours only. You have me but why you still going around flirting with others? Don’t you ever think about me for a bit?
Enough is enough.
This is the last time I’ll take your lies.

#30DJ2Day15 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Marriage

One by one, my friends are getting married. Some of them already had 2-3 years old baby, some of them still pregnant and the others still waiting for a miracle (either baby or partner lol).
And that same old question was always being asked every year, every family gathering, every school reunion, even on every wedding ceremony I attended. 
When will you marry?
My answer? Maybe Saturday or Sunday but in the next few years while showing my smug face. 
I don’t even have any partner yet, so how do I know when will I marry, geez.
Some people at my age these days had attained their so-called goals. Get a job and/or married. Enjoy a settled life. 
I do not envy if they’re married. No, marriage is not in my priority list. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to get married, but it’s not my priority yet. Not before I met someone who could convince me why should I marry them. 
Besides, I still have many dreams to be achieved. And it’s important to have a settled life first, at least for me. I need to be independent first. It’s important for women to be financially independent in the world ruled by patriarchy. 
But it’s not stopping me to sincerely congratulate all of my friends who choose to be married. It’s their own life, their own path. And I also have my own life. Marriage is not a race.
Like today, after facing a lot of hardships, finally, my friend officially married with her Japanese husband. 
She said I hoped you also get married sooner, ya.
I only laughed, I don’t mind being the last one to get married among my friends.
Better get my shit done before jump into the next depressing episodes in life.

#30DJ2Day14 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Option

My uncle once asked, which one do you prefer, go to sleep easily or wake up with ease?
I didn’t need to think a lot, so I just blurted out my answer, go to sleep easily, of course.
Maybe I had insomnia. I don’t know, I never discussed it with any therapist, but I do have trouble sleeping. It’s hard to sleep before 12 AM. I just don’t feel sleepy at all even though my body feels tired, even though I feel like lack of sleep and sleepy all day, but I just can’t sleep easily before 12 AM.
And even if I could sleep a bit later after 12 AM, I often woke up around 3-4 AM. That’s why I prefer to go to sleep easily.
But when I think again, wake up with ease is also important.
Being a trouble-sleeper, I often woke up not in a good state. Sometimes I could feel my body aching in a certain part. And of course, it could be affecting my mood for that day. It wouldn’t be good if I work with such a mood. Now I understand why my uncle pick wakes up with ease.
But how can I get that wake up in ease if I had trouble sleeping at night?
Sigh… 
Guess I need my chamomile tea.

#30DJ2Day11 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis 

Hand

I don’t know why but currently every time I experienced a lucid dream, my left eye always covered by a black hand. I mean like always. 
Why is that hand only covered my left eye?
Whose hand is that?
What does that hand want exactly?
I don’t understand.
in my dream, I tried so hard to remove that hand from my head. But that hand kinda had some sort of will power and not easy to be removed.
As far as I remember, that black hand appeared in my dream for 4 times. I didn’t remember any particular events before that black hand appears in my dream so I couldn’t anticipate it. That’s why I found it weird. 
In what kind of occasion that black hand would appear?
Will that black hand appear again someday?
I don’t know. I hope not. Because experiencing a lucid dream is tiring. You would never feel fresh after wake up and that scene would linger for a long time in your head. Long enough to create a journal based on it as I did here.
I never heard anyone near me experiencing this kind of thing. But I guess, it’s still possible that someone somewhere would have the same nightmare as I did.
Or maybe, that black hand will come to you tonight.

#30DJ2Day11 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Dream

Lately, I’ve been seeing the same dream. 
Like any other dreams, I tend to forget the beginning of my dream but at some point, this scene was really vivid and I can’t help remembering it even after I wake up.
I was going to sleep in my late granny’s room at my uncle’s house. Regardless how many people’s talking (or just appearing) outside the room or no matter what the circumstances were, I would end up alone in that room and the room was always dark with dim light from the closed curtains. 
I tried sleeping in that room. But I could never sleep. Because there’s always this thing, I don’t know how to describe it, whether it’s human or not even though that presence always looks like a woman with very long hair. 
When I was laying in the bed, that thing would be beside me and sticking out that face to my face. No, I don’t want to describe it face, but, yes, it’s not a pleasant one. That thing was always tried to disturb my sleep, and I would be trying to repel that thing, reciting all the prayers I know and ended up gasping for breath. I woke up and tried to call my mum, but she wouldn’t come. This was when I realized I’m still inside the dream. 
Fortunately, I managed to wake up though I would be so damn tired. 
It’s been so long since the last time I go to that room. That room is used by my cousin now. I don’t know if he ever feels any negative presence there, but if yes, probably he wouldn’t want to talk about it anyway.

#30DJ2Day11s #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Han'nya Mask

I woke up with a phone call that day. It was you.
You asked about my house, do you still live there?
Of course, I said, why? You want to send me an invitation to your wedding? I said, half joking.
Yes, you answered.
Oh, wow! Congrats. I did feel happy. I swear. Of course, I didn’t say it out loud. 
Thanks, then see you around 4. End of the call.
And I could hear those songs and smell that scent once again.
Back to the year where this unrequited love has begun. The day where I tried to reach you but you chose to turn your back. The day when your back was more familiar to my eyes. To the days where I search that back amongst the crowd but useless.
Isn’t it cruel to left someone hanging after saying “It’s not that I didn’t like you” but you never gave them a clarity whether they should wait or go? But you did it anyway. 
And after those stories of your love life, after I told myself over and over again to give up on you, you finally reach the last destination. 
You did come and gave me the invitation. I came to your wedding with my han’nya mask wore beautifully to hide those regrets.
Congratulations. Really, I mean it. Though I hate that your wedding day was a week away from my birthday, though I still remember that our birthdate is the same and decided to cut my hair as a symbol of a broken heart. But, it’s not bothering me anymore.
I knew that our story already ended a long time ago. So, let me remember those nostalgic memories on your birthday.
Happy Birthday to you and our withered love.
I hope karma does you right, sweetheart.

#30DJ2Day10 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

All Right

You said, “It’s over.”
Fine to me. I’ll walk away from you even though I would be thinking of you from time to time. I mean, it’s only natural to think about someone you’ve been together with for some times, right? It doesn’t mean I still care or what, but I admit you once cared for me.
“How do you feel?” I’m not okay, but I will be alright for sure. Don’t ever send me any text asking whether am I alright or not. Don’t you dare to call or suddenly come into my house anymore. Cut that midnight text saying you miss me or reminding me those happy times’ we’ve been on. It’s all useless. You will be the pitifullest person in my eyes if you ever do that.
“I’ll call you,” no need, thanks. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll block your number and all of your social media if you ever try contacting me again.
“I’m not stupid!” Oh, yes, you are. You’re losing someone who knew you better than anyone new. You’re letting go of someone who once love you and accepts and deals with all of your bullcrap. Shame on you.
“Aw, c’mon. I’m sorry,” no you’re not and might never be. I don’t need to be an indigo child or a psychic to read our future together after this pity broke up thing. You are the one who wants this to end yet you beg me to come back to you? Nah, I’ll pass. I’m good without you.
Good luck with finding another person. Go away from my life, shoo!

#30DJ2Day09 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Hidden

Another day has begun.
I thought didn’t move much but my body aches everywhere.
I stretched my body while trying to remember what I did yesterday. 
Checking my smartphone to find it almost 11 AM with some notifications. 3 emails, 3 messengers, 2 chats, 1 reminder.
Uh…
I don’t feel like doing anything today but this grave is too cold and lonely. I need something to distract myself at least for today.
I push myself to wake up and making breakfast. Or brunch. Forcing myself to eat something while browsing all of the social media platforms. 
Good news, bad news, I read it all. People complaints, people judges, that’s how society goes.
I try lightening up my mood by listening to some uplifting songs.
This is the time when I know I need to go out. 
When was the last time I got to hang out? I don’t even remember. 
Checking those emails and chats, most of it related to works, but nobody asks whether I’m good or not.
Living too much in silence won’t do me good. I call one of my friends, ask them to go out for a coffee. I got a yes. So I’m preparing myself to go out. I don’t care with who or what kind of topics we talked about as long I could get out of here and run away from my thoughts for a while, I guess I’ll be fine.
Thus, another day has passed.

#30DJ2Day08 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

My Fair Lady

Only 21 likes…
“Tsk!”
I scroll down, observing one by one other photo in my feed. 
165 likes.
98 likes.
1.283 likes.
What’s the difference between my photo and yours?
Okay, okay, I know I didn’t take my photo while on a vacation or any other grand place but my room, but your photo and my photo are both selfies, so why did yours got more likes?!
I should try another way. 
I check my make up once again, get my key and ready to go out.
Today’s weather is a bit dull. Grey clouds hanging up high, the sky is so white and I can feel a bit cold breeze while walking. It’s gonna rain soon…
I sit on a bench and start to take a selfie.
One time.
Two times.
Three times.
Hmm… Still not enough.
The rain starts pouring down. No use to run so I let myself soaked in the rain. 
Wait, this could be a great picture.
I take some selfies in the rain.
Nice.
I’m too immersed in my phone when suddenly…
“Hey, watch out, dammit!” loud honks and curse words.
Good thing I’m safe, “Sorry,” I murmured. 
My attention is back to my phone, I have to make a great caption too!
Oh, I know!
“Dancing in the rain but watch out, almost got hit while taking this one lol
Take care guuuyyyss!!”
Upload.
I run to home, changing my clothes and grab my phone again.
I smile. As expected, I got 53 likes and also some comments.
But this is still not enough.
There must be another way.
A challenge? Ah, good idea. I should try those challenges. More dangerous, more likes, noted!
Hey, taking pictures with wild animals looks fun, on the list!
Okay, I should start planning on a trip too. Mount seems a cool place, hmm…
This is so fun.
I can’t wait to have more likes and followers.
I will… 
You’ll see…

#30DJ2Day07 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Cake

I met my cousin at a family gathering. I was pretty close to him. We often hang out together since his house is pretty close to mine.
He told me about the job interview he did recently. 
“You know, I got this very mind-blowing psychological test in this interview. I asked most of my friends and they couldn’t answer it at all!” he said enthusiastically. 
I laughed, “You sure?”
“100% sure! I never found this kind of test everywhere! This test was so mind-blowing! Damn!”
“Okay, tell me the test.”
“Listen closely: there’s a cake. A round one. You have to divide it equally to 8 people, but you could cut it for 3 times only. How are you gonna cut it?”
I thought for a while.
“Wait, so there’s a cake…”
“Uh huh.”
“Round one and I have to cut it for 8 people equally…”
“But just 3 cuts, yes.”
Hmm…
I started to think again.
How’d you divide a cake equally for 8 people with 3 cuts only?!
My cousin hid his laugh seeing my confused face.
“C’mon. I just need 5 minutes to solve this! Hahaha!”
“Shut up, I’m trying to concentrate here!”
He laughed.
Uh… I, too, never found this kind of psychological test before.
“Is there no hint?”
“I only can say, you have to think outside the box, that’s all,” he said with a smug face.
Errgh…
I tried to imagine something round, divide it in two first but how can I make it equally divided…?
Eh… Wait….
“AH! I KNEW IT!”
My cousin laughed out loud, “I know you can!”

Dear readers, can you solve it?

#30DJ2Day06 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Stargazer

“Hey, quick question!”

I glanced at my phone.
“What?” I typed.
You replied fast, “What songs you’d listen while watching stars?”
I paused for a while. Since when you need to listen to some music while stargazing?
“A Sky Full Of Stars…?”
I’m not really sure, actually. I never listen to any songs while stargazing. And if I’m not mistaken, you neither. So why did you suddenly ask that?
“Nah. Other songs, please.”
I think for a while. Trying to remember any songs fitted stargazing. 
“And I Love Her, Stars by Simply Red or Dubstar, Little Stars, Yellow…?
I don’t know, I never listen to any music while watching stars.
Why did you suddenly ask that?”
I raised my eyebrow when I realized you’re going offline. 
I put my smartphone back and continued doing my work. 
But I can’t lie, your question tickled me a bit. 
Stargazing song, eh?
I opened my music folder, picked some songs and played it on the music player. 
As the song played, I opened my window, looking at the night sky. 
Hmm, not bad I guess.
My phone vibrated, a new notification from you. 
“Nothing. I just feel it might be nice watching stars while listening to music.
Also, your recommendations are not bad, might try as well.
Whatchu doin’?”
I chuckled, “Thanks to you, now I listening to some songs while stargazing.”
“Nice, eh? I wish I could do it too. Btw, I have to sleep, already late. Talk to you later. Nitey nite.”
“Nite, sleep tight.”
Now I can’t help to remember you every time I stargazing.

#30DJ2Day05 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis

Little Love

I walked into the coffee shop, and I saw you reading a book with a serious face in the corner seat. I came to the counter to order something and then sat down in front of you.
“I thought you would be late,” you smiled. 
I could feel my cheek became warmer.
“My professor had to do something, so my class was dismissed earlier,” I peeked at the book, “Murakami?”
You sipped your coffee, “Yes. This series is pretty good. You should try reading it, too.”
And just like that, we talked about everything for hours. You and your cold caramel macchiato with cheesecake, me and my hot chamomile tea with a tuna sandwich. 
“I’m going tomorrow,” I sipped my chamomile tea, tried not to look at you. 
“Have a safe trip. It’s only a month. We could text or video call,” you said with that calm voice.
I shrugged off, “I don’t really like video call, you know.”
Another sip as an excuse to hide my blushed face.
They said, there are two things that people can’t hide: sneeze and love.
Trying not to be so obvious when you fall in love is hard. Might as hard as denying it. 
So I give it to you, a little by little. 
So you won’t notice.
Because I’m the one who chooses this way.
But there’s no guarantee you will stay.
And I can feel it.
That I’ll miss you.

#30DJ2Day02 #30DJ2 #30DJofAWI #30DJApril2019 #writingcompetition #kompetisimenulis